


Blue as sadness, Green as hope

by AlbaAdler



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5098349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbaAdler/pseuds/AlbaAdler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yes, blue was the color of sadness and when she left, she granted him sadness as his only and eternal companion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blue

**Author's Note:**

> This is very short and have just two mini chapters.  
> Thank you so much, Lauralina for your help!
> 
> Your comments make my day !

## Blue

They were doomed since the very beginning.

Since the first time that he began to drown in her eyes he was sure that he was lost, because blue is the color of sadness and nobody had bluer eyes than her. Sadness linked them with chains of trust and longing and neither of them wanted to be free of each other, no matter how heavy was the burden they must share.

They trust each other, hold onto each other and care for each other, so it was jus a matter of time when they finally learnt to love each other.

He wasn’t sure when exactly those feelings had begun to grow inside of him, but he was sure that the moment he was aware of them it was too late to try to help it, even if he had wanted to. One day he found himself thinking of her a couple of times a day, but that was probably just because all they have been through together —at least that was what he told himself. One night, not long after that, he realized that she was his first and final thought each day, and her sad blue eyes were what he cherished the most.

When she heard of the death of her father, strong as she was, she hid the pain, shed a single tear that she whipped away quickly, lifted her head and went through the rest of the day as if nothing had happen. At night, beside the fire her eyes were filled with regret and despair. It was also sadness what made him kiss her for the first time at that moment, and it was probably loneliness what made her not to reject him. The kiss was bittersweet, but deep and strong enough to tear down the dam that, until that moment, had contained a sea of feelings. He knew for sure that he was in love with her then, just as he had known that his love was born doomed, because he was cursed and his love was a strong poison that turned in pain every single hope of being loved.

The first time he had her was because of fear. Hours before a suicidal mission, thinking that it was that the last time they were going to be together and alive, he kissed her and she had hugged him. He took her hand and she led him to her chambers. He made her laid in bed and she began to unclothe him. Between gasps he confessed that he loved her and between sighs she told him she loved him too. They did not fear death but the loss of the feeling that had finally returned to both of them. They feared the loss of something that both felt it was perfect and undeserved.

And as they had survived he allowed himself to be happy for a while because she had said that she loved him and he had believed her, because when he looked at himself reflected in her beautiful eyes he had liked what he saw. Because he loved and was loved and that was what happiness mean.

People gossiped: she was a whore and he was just a man willing to satisfy his needs with any woman at hand.

The war continued, the world was maybe coming to an end, but he spent the nights wrapped into her arms, and the blue of her eyes became the color of the spring sky instead of sadness, so he gladly accepted the truce that life had offered him and thanked the gods for each moment.

Snow was heavily falling over his head when he saw Pod walking towards him, cradling Oathkeeper in his hands. The battle had been short and easy, with very few casualties. They had seen her fall into the river with an arrow on her chest.

He knew then that the truce was over.

As their final joke, the gods did not even allow him the chance to look for her body in the battlefield. Dragons had crossed the starry night in the coolest night that Westeros could remember and the war between living and the dead was over. He hoped that the Targaryen’s justice would put an end to his misery, but perhaps, unaware of the tempest of his heart, Daenerys had sentenced him to the cruelest fate and had conceded him a pardon. She had forced him to live in a world that was alien to him.

Yes, blue was the color of sadness and when she left, she granted him sadness as his only and eternal companion.

He never seemed to suffer for the lost of the woman. Men said that it was a waste of time to grieve for a whore as ugly as her, but they missed her, as they would do to other good soldier. However, if anyone could have been inside the Kingslayer’s soul, would have found darkness and loneliness beyond what words could tell. The lion was too proud to show any kind of grieve or weakness; nobody should know that she had taken with her the better part of him, but everybody could realize that, after her death, his glance had become absent and sad, as blue as the eyes he had lost and always seemed to seek in the depths of the sky.


	2. Green as Hope

## Green

She had seen the worst version of him, full of dirt and empty of hope, with an empty smile and dead eyes; silly thing, because green was the color of hope and nobody had eyes greener than him. She had also seen him in all his glory with a grin as bright as the golden hand he replaced the fist he had lost with.  She has seen him in so many ways but she would always remember him with a teasing smirk and a playful glance. And she remembered him as often as breathing. Unwilling, unwanted, unavoidable as her heart beat.

Green was also the color of the promises kept and, even against himself, he always tried hard to keep his owns and she loved him for this. Yes, she loved him, but love wasn’t mean for her. For her there was war and her arms would cradle no other child than her sword; therefore, when the war was over she no longer had a place in the world. The river swallowed her and then threw her out, as she would do with a sip of sour milk.

Tarth was nothing more than a bunch of ruins, her father was dead and surely Jaime, free of oaths and treats to his head, would be going back to Casterly Rock to marry a fancy lady and have children to preserve the Lannister name. If she went back to him she would be nothing more than a nuisance; it was better he thought her dead —in some way she really was. It just happens than she was still breathing.

Sometimes, in the middle of her longs and restless nights she wondered what would have happened if she were still by Jaime’s side. He cared about her. He loved her —at least he sincerely believed so. She had accepted his love when she thought that neither of them had a future and they deemed each day as a new miracle, but now, he had a whole life ahead and she couldn’t be part of that because she could not bear when all his care would become pity and resentment.

He had given her hope to hold onto in her darkest times. He also had rewarded her loyalty with many sweet memories to fill each day she had yet to live. All she could give him in return was her absence and the freedom to start his new life without any kind of chains.

Tarth was as barren and broken as she was, so she couldn’t think of a better place to live. Just a few people stubbornly insisted on continue living on the island, most of them were old people who were so afraid of leaving their homes as she was of loneliness. She lived isolated and in anonymity. She lived alone, struggling to forget certain green eyes and all the hope they had made her feel, even if it was just for a short time.

Moon after moon her only comfort was to watch grow the vegetables she had sown behind the hut where she lived, very near the ruins of Evenfall. Each morning she took care of the tiny sprouts and gleefully watched as the leaves and stalks got stronger and greener with the hope that they could flourish in the spring. Her heart felt warmer thinking that even between the ashes the green of a new life could be found. She sat there surrounded by grass and little blue flowers, closed her eyes and allowed herself to dream of him. She had him so present in her thoughts that she wasn’t surprised when she saw him one morning, looking at her deeply. He looked aged and tired. He wasn’t smiling as he used to do in all her fantasies.

The real surprise came when he talked to her.

“You’re alive.” His voice was cold and resentful.

She had to touch him to convince herself that he was real. He took the hand she had on his cheek, and just for an instant he smiled, then quickly he recoiled and his eyes were filled with wrath and bitterness.

“Why?”

“Because I love you.” That was the only true she had never doubted, however he wasn’t satisfied with this answer, so she embraced herself trying to find the right words to make him not to hate her.

“I was unconscious for many days. The first thing I knew was that you had gained a pardon and were dismissed from the Queen’s Guard. People said you were back at the Rock to get married and rule. You had everything and you didn’t need me. I didn’t want to be a burden to you.” He barely tensed his lips, and he didn’t even blink. “Jaime, if I would have thought you needed my help I would have been by your side with no doubt—“

“I renounced the Rock in Tyrion’s favor.” He cut her. “I believed you were dead, so I had nothing.”

She tried to get close to him and to touch him, she wanted to say something, but the lump in her throat didn’t let her talk anymore. When he felt her hand on his arm he turned away from her. The silence lasted for so long that her tears that were running freely through her cheeks had already soaked her clothes. She didn’t dare to move, she just keep looking at him and fearing that at any time he would vanish again.

“I wanted to see Tarth.” He seemed to being talking to the horizon. “I was afraid that I was going to forget how blue your eyes were, so I thought to come here to remember. Now I have to go.”

He didn’t look at her again; he just began to walk away —to vanish again.

“Jaime!” She finally could call him. He didn’t stop. “ Where are you going?” He just shrugged and kept walking. She couldn’t let him go and she ran until she reached him. Brienne strongly took his arm and forced him to face her. “I will go with you.”

Slowly pride was yielding to doubt. “I will go with you.” She repeated taking both of his arms.

“For how long?” Hope began to shine in his eyes.

“Forever.” She stated and taking the last step she kissed him. “Forever if you want me.” Then he was kissing her, furiously first, then with longing and finally with tenderness.

“This is almost a dessert island.” She sadly nodded. ”It’s my dream come true.”

There were no cloaks or septons to testify their vows. She was no lady and he was no knight, they were just a woman and a man with empty hands but with their hearts full. Her blue eyes held no more sadness and his green ones were overflowed with the hope of prolonging that moment for the rest of their lives.


End file.
